Ask me anything   hi there. my name is melissa. live life with laughter and love. wish and believe.



wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said

"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"

then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming

100000000 points to mom.

(Source: spockdarlin, via the-m00n-and-m0re)

— 17 hours ago with 289007 notes


enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn’t get uncomfortable after 5 minutes

(via adorability)

— 17 hours ago with 109900 notes



The regular girl couldn’t make it, so I’m here.

miss claudette has a special place in my heart. 

miss claudette over everything 

(Source: quatres, via comeoncloser)

— 17 hours ago with 186953 notes


*Seductively lays on a table* Hey bab- *Table breaks*

(Source: thesassycat, via lonelyturd)

— 17 hours ago with 115897 notes



Limzy Wei: Flowergirls

artist on tumblr

Malaysian artist Lim Zhi Wei adorns her watercolors entitled “ Flowergirls” with real flowers, to a stunning effect.

How are people so creative and artsy, and how can I be them

(via nacho-enthusiast)

— 3 days ago with 75622 notes
talking about blowjobs with my friends
friend number 1:did you drink it or spit it
friend number 2:spit it
me:you drink it you drink it you drink it
— 3 days ago with 20 notes